9 Things You NEED To Know To Be More YOU
This week I’m going to address one of the questions that was posed to me a few weeks ago when I asked for your feedback.
Q – What is my take on being true to yourself and authentic living?
Firstly I have to say this is something that I am quite passionate about as I’ve seen how much stress it can cause someone when they are not willing to live in accordance to their deepest needs.
I also studied this back in 2008/09 because even then I saw how it undermined so much of what I was trying to do to help people with corrective exercise and holistic lifestyle coaching.
So what does it mean to be authentic and true to yourself?
I think professor Stephen Joseph summed it up brilliantly in his book “Authentic” when he said, being authentic is the willingness to Know Yourself, Own Yourself and Be Yourself.
So first of all you need to get to know yourself. You need to understand what it is that makes you tick. What you love and also what you don’t like.
Most importantly you need to understand what your core values are. I believe without knowing your core values you are going to be compensating in all the other areas of your life.
Your core values are your values. They do not involve your loved ones, your partner, wife or husband. That is the first piece to consider.
Don’t think of others needs when considering what your core values are otherwise you’ll leave a piece of you behind and your relationships will be anything but authentic and this will cause stress down the line.
There are nine values that I teach which are absolutely essential to get clear on before you can have an authentic relationship with yourself and therefore with others:
Physical needs – What do you need for your body that will keep you feeling in optimal health to live your other values?
Mental needs – What conditions do you need for your mind to be peaceful, calm and centred most of the time?
Space needs – What environment do you need to live in and work in to feel at your best?
Time needs – How much time do you need to spend on activities per week that make you feel at your best. Eg – You might say you need one hour for lunch every day and an hour to decompress and relax at night after work. How much are you currently getting?
Rhythm needs – What times of the day/week do you operate best? Are you happy getting up early each morning or are you a night owl? What other rhythms are essential for you to be healthy and content?
Family needs – How often do you need to connect with your family and for how long? How much is too much?
Purpose – What is it that you are contributing to? What is your legacy? What gets you out of bed in the morning?
Cultural needs – Are you from a culture that is different from where you live and if so what cultural events are important to you?
Social needs – How much time do you need with others? How much time can you give to others without giving yourself away?
Notice I used the work NEED quite a lot in the questions above. I didn’t talk about wants and dreams. In the space needs you might want an eight bedroom house with two acres of land but you might feel like you need a three bedroom property with a garden. The question is, are you living that?
These are also only starter questions for you. You could expand to a whole sheet of paper for each section above is needed.
This is truly getting to know yourself.
To be yourself you need to look at where you are at currently and how far from your needs you are and what you are prepared to do to cross that gap.
WARNING – Be aware of when you start filling answers in to these questions based on cultural and family expectations. Are these things what you really need or ideas adopted from your environment?
If you struggle to clear on this exercise you can simply turn it on it’s head to get started.
What do you know you definitely do not want in each area any more? What are you not willing to tolerate? That can get the ball rolling.
Finally the question also asked about being true to yourself.
I think to do that you need to develop a keen awareness of your intuition and allow the head to remain quiet.
Are you brave enough to listen to your intuition even when you don’t know where that might lead you?
How can you develop your sense of intuition? Firstly practice, but you also need quiet. A quiet mind, to hear these messages coming up.
How does the above sit with you?
Are you looking to get even more clarity on this topic?
If you are, I’m looking to work with just one person who wants to take this and map out their core values more clearly and deeply so you know what you NEED, to experience deeper levels of stability, peace of mind and happiness.
Comment below with the words CORE VALUES and we’ll be in touch to discuss.
(First come, first served basis.)